I received a text yesterday morning with the news that my daughter was a close contact for a covid case in her class. The initial fright hit hard. I felt my heart and mind start to race and the swell of emotions surge up within me. I knew I needed time to digest this news; the wonderings of what would happen, what did it mean for us, how would our lives be impacted, what did we need to do, etc etc. Most importantly however, I knew I needed to ground and regulate my nervous system so I could give myself the best chance to deal with this situation.
Part of this regulation was soothing myself; slowing down my body and my mind. Part of the regulating was also honouring the emotions that were stirred in me and allowing them to be safely released, otherwise my energy would be spent of containing them!
So, I had a cry. A big cry! I let all the worry, the concern, and the sadness out. I let all that I was holding just flow, not just for our experience, but for all those who have been here before us this year and for those that are yet to be here. I cried for the struggles that this pandemic has brought for so many of us, in various forms; financial, physical, emotional, and spiritual. I cried in honour of the cross that many of us are bearing through this crisis. And I cried with the love, the kindness, the sense of community, and the blessings we have too.
I let it all out and in doing so, I felt lighter. I didn’t have to use my mental, emotional, or physical effort to hold that all in. Having acknowledged and released it, I was free to stay grounded in what was important for me and my family right now. I had the clarity on what this text had brought for us. It was our chance to slow down again, to stay warm and snuggled up as we hibernate at home together. It was a chance for us to feel safe, soothed, and loved, and to remember our strength to overcome all we’ve been through as a family this year and what we may have yet to face.
So if you get hit with an emotional curveball and it feels like you might break, then let the mould break. The mould we’ve been shaped into, that has led us to believe that we shouldn’t let our emotions out, that we must contain them, that they are an inconvenience or a sign of weakness and instead we should soldier on untouched. Break it! And let it out. You’ll feel lighter too. You’ll feel the relief. The clarity. The calmness.
With love always,
P.S. my daughter made this with her toys while we were at home yesterday... what a symbolic reminder that as humans, we are stronger together, and that our loving actions will help us get through this pandemic!